6 drinks + fanfic + sharkboy threats + beautiful guly = LVOE

jocose: fuck
i ahve to go
damn it
but at least it closes at 12
then i can come home
and read 2 more chapter
heehee
me: hahah go
real life is important
makes the fake life that much sweeter
Sent at 10:26 PM on Wednesday

jocose: ok home
time to read more
yay!
me: haha
jocose: im so buzzed right now
me: biem was watching twilight with commentary
jocose: yaeh
me: i've been staring at .gifs
jocose: she texted me
hahahaahahah
we are all awedsome
i lvoe it
i feel like i have contact on right now
my eyes are so dry
Sent at 12:36 AM on Thursday

jocose: therye still there
i just left
but i got there
and had 6 drinks
in one hour
death
me: oh fuck lol
jocose: what gifs are you looking at
me: what u tryin to prove girl?
awesome ones
that i will post
jocose: you gotta stop the rob hate
hahaha
jocose: or im goign to start o have to make some taylro hate
me: lol no hate
its all in loveeee
jocose: like pictures of him fromlike
shark boy
when hes SUPER young
me: LOL
jocose: im ok though
i love rob
no matter what
i know hes ugly
i dont care
me: whattttttt
hes not ugly
jocose: its beautiful guly
ugly
his eyes are uneven
and his nose is fucked
but i love it
i LVOE it
oh
and he has british teeth
hahahahaha
me: does he have bad teeth?
no he doesnt!!
jocose: he doooooes
its not TAHT bad
but its ...not good
its not like chuck
but its still british nashers
but i love him
i love him
his imperfections make him perfect
Sent at 12:44 AM on Thursday

me: i made a post for you
jocose: oh shit
haha
must check
btw
you have to read this
me: the fanfic?
jocose: yeah
im radin ti now
and jut have this huge smile on my face
its aweome
its his upper lip
he dosnt have one
me: i think thats true of a lot of brit men
jocose: i lvoe him though read more...

for the single ladies...

and the not so single ladies. here are a few links from some of our fave sites...ways to help you cope, how to deal with crushed expectations, discussion of the elusive "unicorn". however, our lives are still ruined.

Lauren's Bite: realistic expectations with reality checks like:
(6) Regular guys don't run in, save you from a run-away-car, smash their body into and inflict zero battle wounds to their beautiful bouffant of a hair-do.

Letters to Twilight includes helpful info such as:
Step 3: Tell him that if he watched Twilight with you, you’ll hook-up with him after. read more...

cakes cakes cakes

note to yeavill: i know ur in the midst of wedding plans, so we would like to make suggestions for your wedding cake!

thx newmoonmovie.org! read more...

into the "wild"

im back from camping! but just because i was away from civilization, doesnt mean the twisession stops...damn it...here are some examples - i am j below:

all: hi!!!

c: we are surrounded by a ton of girl scouts! indian princesses with their dads...

s: they are SO loud

<next day while the princesses are playing games in the field>

dads: scream as loud as you can

princesses: <screeeeeaaaaaaam>

j: they interviewed rob once about the screaming girls and he said that its like the sound at the gates of hell

all: <stares blankly at j in disapointment>

j: who else is coming?

d: xxx, she went out with justin chon...

j: justin chon, justin chon? <under breath> i added justin chon on facebook to be one step closer to robert pattinson

d: hahahahaha

<dads riding bikes nearby with princesses>

dad: come on, wolfpack!

j: <spins head around> wolfpack?

r: ...white person!

j: <whisper> you mean, pale faces...

r: play some music!

c: jack johnson is SO good live

j: have you heard of bobby long?

e: they setup a tepee!

camping with jacob

camping with edward (the tent even has a built in light inside)

<playing wiffleball>

b: <crack>

j: like lightning...

<some girls talking nearby>

c: sure sure

j: <thinks> could she be? do you think? i might scare her...better not ask...

r: take a picture of this burrito that i made!

j: do you want to be in it? or just the burrito?

r: just the burrito

s: <looks at picture> you need a better hand model

j: <thinks to self> rpattz was a hand model

i'm sure there was more and if i think of it i'll add it later...def had muliple rob conversations, especially saying NOT to call him the "twilight guy" because hes SO much more than that...he is #1...always and forever...

read more...

r u jealous of my single life?

in light of recent discussion of being single and never being able to date again, these seemed appropriate...




read more...

poll time!

I need your help. I'm attending a "funny t-shirt" birthday party on Saturday. Should I wear:
A. one of my vast collection of curious george shirts
B. my soccer jersey with my nickname "maneater" on the back
C. Team Jacob
D. bedazzle a shirt with edward's name and face inviting you in

Vote in the comments! read more...

Robert Pattinson Thinks Internet Addictive and Pathetic

hmmm.....


"It is kind of addictive, but at the same time pathetic," Robert Pattinson has been quoted as telling Film.com about how he perceives the Internet. "(The internet) feeds the worst part of your soul. When you have nothing to do and you go on, when you're too tired to read a book," he explains further.

"I'll read the news, you go on to the New York Times, you get bored and go on IMDb (Internet Movie Database website). Then you realize how pathetic you are," the "Twilight" hunk shares. "I have to delete my history (of visited websites)."

Robert Pattinson, who currently is in Vancouver, Canada for the filming of "The Twilight Saga's New Moon," was ranked first on the list of OK! Magazine's Most Eligible Men which was released recently. He was said by the publication that he won't find any difficulties finding the girl of his dream just like he used to be because he is a famous film star now. read more...

screw you rob!!!!

Robert Pattinson reveals during the interview that he is cautious about being around other people now–“I’m always really worried about ruining their lives. Especially with people that aren’t famous. It’s such a massive change. I’m kind of a paranoid wreck. I’ve eaten a lot of room service.” more from the ET interview read more...

be scared

so i walk into cvs and the first thing i do is look to my left where the checkout counter is to see if he's there...nope...not there...walk down the aisle...

hear a cart coming at the intersection, so i slow down...it's him...great hair and all...last time he was wearing a dark blue dress shirt with black skinny pants...today he was wearing a maroon dress shirt with black skinny pants...i give a silly smile, he pushes past me...

finish at the pharmacy counter and walk back one aisle and to the left one aisle to see the storage room he was in last time when i left...guess what? he's there...and i take this shitty picture



i wish you could have been there...and i didnt have to fumble for my phone...the back door of the store was open and the light was coming in, as he stood in the doorway...backlit...it was amazing...completely edward cullen/rpattz style...tall, skinny, amazing...but instead, i get this picture:



he bent down right as i was taking it...i suck...sorry...

so i go in closer as im fumbling with my phone to try to get it to take another picture...and im half way down that aisle when he looks up...straight at me...with my phone pointed at him...i stop...its the BABY AISLE...theres nothing i can possibly need there...pause...turn around...and walk as fast as i can out of the store...

FML read more...

next twi-event?

speaking of little ashes, the uci edwards theater will start showing the movie on friday, may 8th...who's game? read more...

DOES THIS EXPLAIN OUR SADDDDASSS LIVES WELL ENOUGH? HAHAHA.

SCREW REALITY!

read more...

daniel --fucking-- gale

after watching rob play daniel gale in the bad mother's handbook

me: just finished it
hes SO cute in it
kaycob: omg
yay
me: sooooooo cute
i giggled
a lot
basically every scene he was in
kaycob: in those youtube vids, his feet look funny even when he walks backward
me: dude
kaycob: so adorkable
me: hes SO skinny
its not even skinny jeans
its like...skinny pants
but his legs are so long
his socks show
kaycob: hahahaha
me: its...amazing
i love him
so much
bobby who?
kaycob: hahahaha
bobby beer bottle long
me: i hate that rob exists
HATE
kaycob: yeah its not fair
how can we go back to normal life
me: i wnat to cry
cuz im so angry
kaycob: LOL
me: that he doesnt exist in my life
except as a fantasy
kaycob: stupid rob
me: hahahahaha
this is SO bad
kaycob: write some books so we can turn them into real movies
its the only way
me: ugh
its like...fuck
what?!
like...how?
kaycob: our lives have been ruined
me: HAHAHA
its ALL your fault
kaycob: for instance, bobby was so close...
me: i cant even talk
im kstewpiding
kaycob: its soooo close
such a tease
i cant stand it
it makes me want to do something more with my life so i can reach them
or something
LOL
me: hahahaha
im blogging this convo
kaycob: we are LOSING IT girl
hahahahahahaaa read more...

Would you grab his beer bottle?

jocose: Will you sign our cds for us?
Bobby: Sure! Places beer bottle snugly between legs to free up his hands to sign.
kaycob: Do you want me to hold your beer for you?
Bobby: thrusts pelvis forward
kaycob: dying, quickly glancing around to see if anyone else is noticing this
Bobby: holds thrust a beat too long, giggles, hands bottle to kaycob

So there was my chance at immortality and I missed it. I should have reached, grabbed, tapped, squeezed, anything! *hanging head in shame* read more...

thank you

thanks for a great night ladies...

im going to guess you'll be seeing this when you wake up...so GOOD MORNING!

thank you bobby long...for one of the greatest nights...EVER!

read more...

get ready for tomorrow...

OMR

Apparently Robert Pattinson had a good reason for not showing up at castmate and friend Jackson Rathbone's concert up in Vancouver the other night—we're told he wasn't in town!

According to exacting flying sources, sexy Robby touched down in L.A. Monday (with his management not far behind him) and caused quite the stink. Literally...

Kaycob update: well...twicrack has posted that Rob was spotted in Vancouver last night.

And for those of you who are wondering why any of this Rob stalking is relevant, it's because a few of us are heading to a Bobby Long concert tomorrow night in LA. Bobby, who wrote the lovely "Let Me Sign" from the soundtrack, is good London buddies with Robby and Sammy (and Rob was at Sam's Vancouver shows a few weeks ago).

I can't believe I know any of this. *burying face in hands* read more...

I'm going into sugery now...when I wake up tomorrow...there better be some good posts!!! read more...

welcome

hi ladies,

i created this blog to post any and everything twilight related...our "special diet!" thanks to yea for her creative genius in thinking up the name. =)

this way we have a one stop shop that we can just post, comment, and check for updates.

not sure how well this will work, but let's give it a try!

-jocose-

read more...